Top 5 Things My Parents Taught Me To Teach My Kids

5) Game Night

At least once a month gather the family together for an enjoyable, tech free day/evening of board/card/team games to direct and indirectly teach EVERYONE, not just the kids, how important family should be. This also teaches how to be a respectful winner, gracious loser and even get better at witty retorts because you gotta talk trash but not cross the line and get popped. Hone those trash talkin skills early.

4) Dinner Time

We will eat together, Not only literally but metaphorically. Breaking bread with your people is something your kids should know and understand in every sense that it is used. The time invested in putting in the work necessary to be able to eat a hot meal should be honored, respected and appreciated. Eating whole meals daily is not a luxury i had growing up, so being able to ensure my kids don't take that for granted is highly important.

3) Allowance is to be Earned, Not Expected

I never got a traditional allowance every week or month, and to be honest never even asked for it. When my parents gave us money it was a business proposition really. What's funny is both parents did it independently of each other, they weren't together at the time.

DAD:

While getting bored with how easy school was grades started slipping because i me and my older bro spent time being class clowns and town miscreants, so he made a deal. At the end of semester when we got progress reports in elementary thru high school, he created a monetary scale in lieu of allowance. If we got A - $20, B - $10. A C we got nothing, BUT... A D resulting in us owing $10 and an F $20. At 6-8 classes each, i looked forward to that $140 4 times a year. Never got the max every time, but made me work harder in school the entire time. I learned that sometimes doing good doesn't matter to folks. You have to motivate them with what THEY WANT, and make the means to an end thru what they should be doing. Eventually, hopefully, they will learn valuable lessons along the journey you've embarked them on. Clearly i did and gained tons of knowledge on the way

MOM:

I wanted to play in a soccer league in my town, it cost $30 and there were exactly 31days left to register and i asked her to enroll me. She said lets make a deal, you clean your room, do your chores without me having to ask you, i will give you $1 a day and you can pay for it yourself.

I of course made it like 2 weeks, got lazy, stopped and the end of the month only got $14 and couldn't join. Lesson learned, if you not ready to put in the work, you not worthy of the reward.

(Sidenote: i also started and organized my own soccer league after school with friends that i didn't tell her about which ended up in me getting the ass whooping of my life for lying to her about why i wasn't home on time everyday when she called from work. A Jamaican woman had to stop her from beating me because it was so bad... A JAMAICAN. You may not understand the significance unless you got island family, But i digress...)

2) Expose your kids to religion, don't enforce it

I think what many people do is try to make their kids follow their practices instead of allowing them to. Everything i learned about every religion in existence involved free will. Why take away from your child what your God gave everyone? Even if you don't believe in religion, just spirituality or hell nothing at all, why make them follow you? The very fact you have to force them to instead of explaining why it works for you and why they should try it should open your eyes to the fact that you need to get yourself right mentally. Because clearly you don't have faith in your own ways. Be tolerant and open minded so your kids wont choose their faith or lack thereof ignorantly.

1) Make fear of disappointment worse than physical pain

No matter the amount or severity of whoopings i caught from Pops, Moms, Uncle Mike, Aunt Dollie, Aunt Linda, yeah I'm naming names, eff that (don't beat me tho, for real that's not cool, I'm grown), nothing compared to the immense amount of terror i had/have in letting them down by not being the best i could be. I'm not allowed to be a failure because of them. Regardless of any personal flaws they had they instilled great ones in me that will last GENERATIONS beyond me. I don't want my kid to be afraid of the beating they will receive for getting caught doing something dumb, i want them to not feel its worth risking having me look at them with anything but Pride & Joy for a dumb act in the first place.

But best believe they will still be getting that behind whooped...

What you thought this was? Just cause I'm droppin knowledge don't mean you aint getting popped future kids. Act stupid if you wanna, i been practicing hitting other peoples kids on the sly for years. Try me.

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9 Days

 

It's been 9 days.

9 days since that 9 grazed ya side,

And 9 days we prayed for you to raise ya eyes...

But 9 ways or prayers been denied.

In 9 days my world's changed from hope,

Cause 1 year past 29 is not the age to go.

Since the time you were 9 I could see you were the type to take control,

A strong spine but a waging soul, wit 9 lives.

Back in 99, I spied you tryna live ya life right but couldn't survive the smite,

Even though you tried to raise me right.

So I strive to utilize what you deprived yourself of,

And that's the knowledge that Hood Respect don't coincide wit’ Self Love.

I need you to be selfish for yourself its- Fight or Flight,

And right now you need to fight for Life.

And even though it just might be- slightly- coincidental,

Since I heard the news new views switched my mentals.

So you can't hit the casket before you hear my kids calling me daddy, Uncle Moe and Trose

Barely speak but I know we close, so far.

We closed off due to tough decisions during close calls.

Didn't write each other, but we were never wrote off.

I'm so lost,  ‘cause When I close my eyes

I see 1 .357, or a 9

going through ya Liver- in my mind, while you are living through ya Prime.

So I just need you to rise so I can say...

“Bro, We made it through those Odds.”

And oddly enough, regardless of the outcome or my luck

you'll probably never get to read this, Cause we just- perpetually dysfunct.

Plus- I know that traditionally showing Love is not conducive to ya thug.

So I'll just say, Whoever responsible gonna have to kill me too if we gotta pull ya plug.

Or else they gonna have to suffer…

for at least...

9...

days.

 

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What Are Your Thoughts: Mandatory Drug Testing For Welfare Recipients

 

In Florida, as of July 1st, any adult applying for State/Federal aid will have to take and pass an illegal drug screening, at their own cost, before receiving their funds.

As of now their are two main arguments but I want to get everyday peoples thoughts on this matter. A few key points:

Families who paid and did not test positive for drugs will be reimbursed the funds they spent

Testing Positive does not disqualify you from receiving funds, you will simply have to name another person, who tests clean, and will agree to take responsibility for the Benefits.

Those who disagree feel that requiring drug tests on people, without probable cause, receiving governmental aid will inevitably spread to anyone receiving Financial Aid or Grants up to and including college students, science labs and elected officials.

On the other side, People for this revision feel like people are abusing the Food Stamp assistance to receive funds and trade them for cash for drugs while the kids suffer further with no progress for the families.

I want to know how you all feel about this Law that has been enacted as a Drug Deterrent and if it is worth the precedence set allowing the invasion of privacy to tax paying citizens.

Full Article: http://on.cnn.com/jkYUOm

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What Are Your Thoughts: US Food Stamp Program

 

 

I've always thought we need to take care of those less fortunate so I fully support the existence of the SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) which many know as Food Stamps. I do have family members on it and they truly need more help then we are able to provide them as a family. What I have noticed is that the amount of people going on it is increasing faster than unemployment. Below I have researched and compiled some basic facts about the last 5 years of benefits paid along with basic rules to become eligible.

ELIGIBILITY

As the amount of people in the household increase the amount of Gross income allowed to be considered for Benefit payouts will at a rate of about $406 per person per month starting at $1174 ($14,000/year Gross).

 

Able bodied Adults without dependents in the house will only be allowed to receive benefits between 3months and 3years depending on specific income and situation. This is typically the plan College students will be on to supplement Food Plans and temporary solutions for people laid off or in between jobs needing a helping hand.

 

BENEFIT ALLOTMENTS

The minimal monthly benefit paid is $200 and raises slight for every dependent member of the household (rises approximately $143 per person on average). This number is based of the estimation that people spend about 30% of their net income on Food & Nourishment a month.

The National Average of benefits received per person is approximately $133 per person ($289 per Household). This is 140% of what it was in 2006 (a huge 22% jump occurred between 2008-2009 while the rest was a steady 1-6% increase year over year). 

Average Benefits Paid (per person) Per Month by State (2006 - 2010)

Average Benefits Paid (per household) Per Month By State (2006 - 2010)

 

I'm interested in a discussion so please comment and subscribe to the article so we can collect and share ideas.

Additional Facts:

• In Washington D.C. & Mississippi more than 20% of citizens receive benefits
• As of Nov.2009 1 in 8 adults and 1 in 4 children are using the Food Stamp Program
• Over 20,000 people per day apply for benefits 
• Number of People Participating has increased more than 4 million from Previous year. Chart of Rise of Members Receiving Benefits
• Benefits Paid to qualifying members has increased 214% since 2006 from 30 to 64 Brillion (Paid for with your Taxes) Benefits Paid Out (2006-2010)

 

So, now armed with the data, how do you know feel about Food Stamp Benefits? Answer a few questions in a sentence or two:

1) Do you feel the amounts paid out For Food Items are more or less than necessary for a typical household? Are they more or less than your own grocery bills?

2) Do you think the current time frame of 3 to 36 months encourages dependency on the program for unemployed able bodied adults?

3) Do the payout amounts & Income limitations per person/household indirectly encourage people into having more children/dependents and/or not seek better paying jobs?

What Are Your Thoughts?

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Spanking: Is It Okay?

First, get your mind out of the gutter because this is actually a very good question that I think from generation to generation has become more and more taboo. Those of us with parents born in the 60's-70's remember what it's like to feel the wrath of the parent, and for a lot of us the dreaded phrase, "wait 'til yo' Daddy get home" was worse than walking down Death Row. But this new generation of parents 80's - 90's seem like discipline is limited to words and not action.

Some say it's wrong to hit your kids because they learn violence but I think that is only true when discipline becomes abuse, I feel some people don't know they difference so I want to map out a simplistic scorecard out for you to make it a little easier.

I think you get the point now. The bottom line is, don't electrocute someone when a simple static shock will suffice them. Spanking is about deterring bad behavior by inflicting a fear parental disappointment, not pain. Spank your child just hard enough to show their actions were unacceptable, bruising means you went too far.

Okay let’s do a quick test to see if you pass …

Which of the below photos is more likely the result of proper discipline?
 
Baby Jadakiss? or Bloody Timmy?

If you got this one wrong then you are probably destined to raise a child who is completely jacked up.

My man either wasn't beat enough or entirely too much ... please properly DISCIPLINE your kids.

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Relatives vs. Family

     Have you ever let a relative that made you change, or tweak, your personal rules to accommodate them... simply because they were related? I know I used to. But since then I've had to ask, "Relative vs. Family"... Is there a difference?

     I've heard plenty of people say, "I'll do anything for my family," but never interchanged with the word relative... but why? Is one just easier to say than the other? I don't think so, I think its a much deeper meaning. The definitions for both are as follows:

 

Relative: a person related by bloodline or through marriage

Family: an association of people who share common beliefs or activities

     To me, those are very different things. I don't consider every relative a member of my family anymore. I'm sure we all have people with blood relation to us that emotionally, we share ZERO ties with. You, yourself probably have a friend that knows your deepest darkest secrets, who you feel is closer to than most of your born-in Pedigree? What about in the case of the deadbeat parent who has abandoned their child. Are they still considered family simply because they are relatives? I think not.

 

     Just because someone shares a bloodline, doesn't mean they won't cross you the wrong way and/or treat you any better than a stranger would. I've had people, with NO blood relation, that I call family that have looked out for me in my darkest hours when some of my relatives left me out to fend for myself; after putting me in a bad situation. I will not let the 'relative excuse' place me there ever again. Family should be earned and cherished; make sure those you do is a choice YOU make, not one you are stuck with.

 

"Relatives happen by Chance, Family is by Choice"

 

 

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